Interesting day, today... I started out with a meeting regarding son 6 and his IEP. For the uninitiated, IEP is Individualized Education Plan (which, by it's very definition, should be, you know...individual.).
I realize that the school and our special education co-op would like very much to have son 6 participate in social skills group. My issue is not whether or not there is benefit, but rather whether it fits the "A" in FAPE (Free, Appropriate, Public, Education) to which every child is entitled. Yes, he may have some issues socially, in fact, he DOES have some issues socially. However, in recognizing that, we must also say that he has made progress insofar as he is no longer hitting fellow students to get them to move, but is rather politely requesting that they move, counting to four, and THEN hitting them. LOL, I know. But the goal I hold for each of my kids is that they make progress, not that they get perfect. "Progress, Not Perfection" is our mantra. If he has made progress, and continues to make progress, then I'm not really sure why the social skills group is necessary. It adds another step he doesn't need to contend with - generalization. If his interactions are successfully facilitated, he won't have to generalize to another environment - he's learned in the environment where he needs the skill!
We're back to the place we left off last spring... "Mom, do I have to go to school? I hate, despise, loathe, and abominate school!" "It wouldn't be so bad if they allowed a little autonomy, and let me do my work my way, but I don't even have any friends to help me. Why? Mom, I'm the weird kid, remember?" My heart bleeds. Why, oh why can't we get the point? NORMALIZATION. Teacher, accept him. Para, support him. Kids will follow suit. More is caught than taught, and if you make him stand out, he will be the one left out. Help him grow, give him his tools... trust him - he knows when he needs his bear, and when he needs his mirror, and when to listen to the CD and breathe like Darth Vader. TRUST HIM. Let him be himself - you might even like him.
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Great post! I to share the loathing of starting out the school year and already dealing with dusting off my son's IEP from last year. He has a speech-language exceptionality and I too share the difficulties that we have encountered with his speech affecting his social skills with his peers.
ReplyDeleteWhat I have found is that often the problem with social skils groups, is that it would be great if most children who are interacting at "age-appropriate levels" displayed even average social skills and respect for each other as children who attend groups to improve social skills are expected to develop towards.
Crawford Dedman
www.challengingminds.com
Inspiring quest there. What happened after?
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
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